If no one has told you this yet, let me be the first:
You’re in charge of your postpartum experience.
You’re in the driver’s seat. No one else gets to decide what healing should look like for you or what it takes to start feeling like yourself again after having a baby.
For me, postpartum wasn’t about “bouncing back.” It was about slowly rediscovering the pieces of myself that still existed beneath the diapers, sleepless nights, and endless feedings.
Some of these things may resonate with you Others may not. But my hope is that they inspire you to think about what makes you feel like you.
Here are the 10 things that helped me reconnect with myself after becoming a mom.
1. Taking My Baby Along to Do the Things I Love
One of the first things that made a huge difference was bringing my daughter along to places that already brought me joy.
When Ellie was just three weeks old, my husband and I celebrated our third wedding anniversary. I wasn’t quite ready to leave her for a full dinner out, so instead we visited our favorite local coffee shop.
Before we left, I made sure to feed her so we’d have a good two-hour window. We also gave ourselves a slow morning so I could rest beforehand. I wore her in a baby carrier, and she slept the entire time.
Was I nervous? Absolutely.
But getting out of the house and returning to a place that felt familiar reminded me that I was still me, I was just bringing a tiny sidekick along for the adventure.
Eventually we graduated to visiting my favorite bakery about 20 minutes away. Even on the days it felt overwhelming to pack everything up, I always came home feeling happier than if I’d stayed home.
2. Getting Dressed Every Day
One thing I didn’t realize at first was how easy it was to live in our PJs every day.
After a while, every day started to blend together.
Eventually I began laying out outfits for both myself and my daughter the night before. Even if it was just leggings and an oversized sweatshirt, changing into real clothes helped shift my mindset.
Postpartum bodies deserve comfort, so don’t overcomplicate it. Loose-fitting clothes, stretchy waistbands, and anything that makes you feel comfortable is enough.
As a working mom now with a 3½-year-old and an almost 2-year-old, this is still a habit I try to keep. It makes our mornings smoother, and I still feel better when I’m dressed for the day.
3. Going for Walks
Fresh air was everything.
Having my first daughter in November meant the daylight disappeared almost as quickly as it arrived. Some days it felt like the sun was only out for a couple of hours.
Getting outside, even for a short walk with the stroller or baby carrier, helped me feel more energized, more grounded, and more like myself.
Sometimes movement isn’t about exercise; sometimes it’s simply about reminding yourself there’s a whole world outside of your four walls.
4. Taking Time to Style My Hair
This one may sound small, but it made a huge difference for me.
I’ve always loved doing my own hair, whether that’s curling it, straightening it, or trying different styles.
Around six weeks postpartum, I bought myself a Dyson Airwrap as a Christmas gift. It definitely felt like a splurge, but spending time blow-drying and styling my hair at least once a week after showering helped me feel put together again.
It wasn’t about looking perfect.
It was about doing something that had always made me feel like myself.
5. Spending Time With Lifelong Friends
One of my childhood best friends, Katie, came to visit while I was on maternity leave.
Living a plane ride away from family and lifelong friends made postpartum especially challenging. Having her there felt like getting a little piece of my old life back.
She held my daughter while I caught up around the house. We talked for hours. We laughed. We reminisced.
She even joined us when we took my daughter to her first winery and brewery, which honestly felt very on-brand for us.
Sometimes the people who’ve known you the longest remind you exactly who you are.
6. Traveling With My Baby to Visit Family
I know this one sounds a little crazy.
But I knew eventually I’d have to learn how to fly with a baby.
When my daughter was three months old, my parents visited us for my birthday. Instead of saying goodbye at the airport, I booked a ticket to fly home with them to Philadelphia.
Having experienced travelers beside me made our first flight so much less intimidating.
Did everything go perfectly?
Of course not.
There was a mid-flight blowout that required a complete outfit change.
But we figured it out.
That trip gave me the confidence to fly home alone to Nashville afterward, and getting to introduce my daughter to family and lifelong friends made every stressful moment worth it.
7. Traveling Without My Baby Sometimes, Too
Postpartum anxiety made the thought of leaving my daughter overnight feel impossible.
When one of my high school friends got married, I wanted so badly to be there, but I was terrified.
My husband and my mom encouraged me to go.
I cried saying goodbye. I cried again at the airport watching families travel together.
But once I arrived, I remembered something important:
I still loved showing up for my friends.
I still loved celebrating the people I care about.
That quick 24-hour trip reminded me that I could be both a devoted mom and myself.
As an added bonus, I got to meet one of my best friend’s newborn babies while I was home, making the trip even more special.
8. Going to a Concert (Specifically… The Eras Tour)
I have to give my husband a shoutout here.
About two weeks before Taylor Swift’s Eras Tour came to Nashville, I found tickets through a friend of a friend.
He was understandably a little concerned it might be a scam.
Thankfully, it wasn’t.
Standing in the rain during Night 3 of the Eras Tour, wearing a poncho and discreetly trying to shove my wearable pumps into my bra between songs, somehow made me feel more like myself than I had in months.
I’ll truly never get over that concert and the magic and nostalgia it made me feel.
9. Going Back to the Beach
Growing up outside Philadelphia, summers were always spent “down the shore.”
The beach has always been one of the places where I feel most like myself.
Taking my daughter there during her first summer, and bringing her into the same beach house where I spent so much of my childhood, felt incredibly full circle.
Watching her experience a place that shaped so many of my happiest memories was something I’ll never forget.
10. Finding an Exercise Routine That Supported My Body
I’ll be honest.
Returning to exercise postpartum isn’t something I love talking about because it’s still something I’m figuring out.
I’m now nearly two years postpartum after having two babies just 20 months apart, and my relationship with exercise continues to evolve.
There is so much pressure online for moms to “bounce back,” and honestly, it can feel toxic.
As an occupational therapist, I know how beneficial movement is for both physical and mental health. But after battling postpartum health issues, I struggled to trust my body again.
What finally helped wasn’t finding the hardest workout.
It was finding one that felt supportive.
For me, that was Barre3.
Many of the instructors were moms themselves. They constantly reminded women that modifications are strength, not failure, and celebrated simply showing up.
That encouragement was exactly what I needed during that season and continue to need throughout motherhood with two toddlers.
Final Thoughts
At the end of the day, no one else can tell you what will help you feel like yourself again after having a baby.
Your list may look completely different than mine.
Maybe it’s reading books.
Maybe it’s gardening.
Maybe it’s grabbing coffee with a friend, painting your nails, hiking, baking sourdough, or dancing in your kitchen.
Whatever it is, write it down.
Make a list of the things that genuinely bring you joy, and slowly find ways to weave them back into your daily, weekly, or monthly routine.
Lean on the people around you when you need support.
Because when you’re caring for yourself, you’re also showing up as the best version of yourself for your children.
I’d love to hear from you: What helped you feel most like yourself again after having a baby? Share it in the comments below!
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