Pulse Check Monday

For the first time in a long time… happy Pulse Check Monday.

This week’s question is: What parts of myself, outside of “mom,” need attention right now?

Today’s question feels especially important. It’s one I’ve found difficult to ask myself, but one I’ve been forced to face over the past few weeks.

I feel like I’ve been trying to adjust to living in a body that feels so foreign to me, not only in how it physically looks, but in how it feels and functions. When you become a mom, it’s all gas, no brakes. You don’t have time to stop and process the amount of change your body has endured throughout pregnancy, delivery, and the postpartum period.

For the first time in almost four years, I’m not pregnant or freshly postpartum, yet I felt more exhausted than I have in my entire life. I was trying to navigate life as a mom, wife, and full-time employee in a fast-paced healthcare environment, all while carrying this chronic, suffocating fatigue.

I was getting my period every 22 days, which is technically considered a “normal” cycle, but was very abnormal for me. I worked with my primary care physician and OB-GYN to try to determine the cause. They ordered a wide variety of labs that didn’t reveal anything conclusive. Everything fell within the “normal” range, even though “normal” doesn’t always reflect what is optimal for your age, gender, or specific circumstances.

I also worked with my cousin Erin, who has degrees in neuroscience and nutrition and is, overall, one of the smartest, hardest-working, and most dedicated people to turn to when it comes to health-related concerns. She helped me order labs through an outside company, and we discovered that certain levels, while technically “normal,” could still be improved to a more optimal range.

I added specific vitamin supplements to my regimen, and with this minor adjustment, I was able to increase the length of my cycle from 22 days to 35 days, then eventually to 28–29 days, which is essentially back to my normal. I’m continuing to figure out how to better manage the fatigue, but more on that topic at a later date.

All of this to say: I feel like I ignored many of the physical symptoms I was experiencing until I eventually reached a breaking point and desperately needed help figuring out what was going on.

Isn’t this something so many of us do as moms?

We hear phrases like “you can’t pour from an empty cup” and “put your oxygen mask on before helping others,” but I feel like that advice is so much easier said than done.

When you’re in the thick of motherhood, it can be easy to dismiss your own needs, whether they’re physical, mental, or emotional. But it’s important to remember that you can’t take good care of your family unless you’re taking care of yourself, too.

So maybe we start adding this question into a biweekly or monthly check-in with ourselves, knowing that the answer may change depending on the season of life we’re in.

But let the takeaway be this: you have to meet your own needs in order to meet the needs of your loved ones, especially your tiny humans.

To do this week: Ask yourself this question, then review your answer with your partner or a trusted friend. Take action steps toward supporting yourself in whatever area of life needs attention, whether that looks like booking a doctor’s appointment, scheduling a therapy session, planning a date night, or having a girls’ night out with your friends.