There is a version of self‑care that exists on the internet that feels completely disconnected from real life, especially real life with a newborn. Long baths, quiet mornings, uninterrupted sleep, and solo workouts can feel laughable when your days are measured in feedings, diaper changes, and contact naps.
So before we go any further, let’s name this clearly: postpartum self‑care is not about perfection, indulgence, or adding more to your plate. It’s about care in its most basic, supportive form, meeting your needs so you can continue meeting your baby’s.
Welcome to New Mom Notes, a space for honest reflections, gentle education, and practical reminders for this season. Let’s talk about what self‑care actually looks like after birth, and why it matters more than ever.
Why Self‑Care Matters Postpartum (Even When It Feels Impossible)
The postpartum period is a time of immense change. Your body is healing, your hormones are shifting, your identity is stretching, and your nervous system is learning an entirely new rhythm. On top of that, you’re caring for a completely dependent tiny human.
From a physiological standpoint, rest, nourishment, hydration, and emotional support are essential for recovery. Adequate care can support:
- Physical healing after birth (vaginal or cesarean)
- Hormonal regulation
- Milk supply and feeding stamina
- Mental health and emotional resilience
From a human standpoint, self‑care matters because burnout helps no one. When your basic needs go unmet for long periods of time, it becomes harder to show up with patience, clarity, and compassion, for yourself and for your baby.
This isn’t about being a “better” mom. It’s about being a supported one.
Redefining Self‑Care for the Postpartum Season
One of the most helpful shifts new moms can make is redefining what self‑care means right now.
In this season, self‑care may look like:
- Eating something (really anything) before noon
- Drinking water while feeding your baby
- Taking pain medication when you need it
- Letting yourself sit instead of pushing through
- Accepting help without explaining or apologizing
Self‑care is not always restorative in the dreamy sense. Often, it’s preventative. It’s the small actions that keep you from becoming completely depleted.
And yes, it can feel wildly unglamorous.
The Most Overlooked Forms of Postpartum Self‑Care
1. Physical Basics
Your body has been through a major event. Supporting it doesn’t require fancy routines; it requires consistency with the basics.
- Food: Aim for regular meals and snacks, even if they’re simple. Protein, fats, and carbohydrates all matter.
- Hydration: Keep water where you feed your baby. If you’re nursing, thirst is not subtle.
- Rest: Sleep when you can, yes, but also rest while awake. Lying down counts. Sitting counts. Doing less counts.
2. Emotional Care
Postpartum emotions can be intense, layered, and sometimes surprising. Caring for your emotional health includes:
- Naming how you feel without judgment
- Letting moments be hard without trying to “fix” them
- Talking to a trusted loved one who won’t minimize your experience
You don’t need to be grateful every second. You don’t need to “cherish it” when you’re struggling. Both joy and overwhelm can exist at the same time.
3. Mental Load Awareness
New moms often carry an invisible mental checklist that never shuts off. One form of self‑care is noticing the load, and sharing it when possible.
This might mean:
- Writing things down instead of holding them in your head
- Asking your partner to take ownership of specific tasks
- Letting something stay undone
Reducing mental strain is just as important as physical rest.
What Self‑Care Is Not
Let’s gently clear a few things away:
- Self‑care is not selfish.
- Self‑care is not something you earn after doing enough.
- Self‑care is not failing because you didn’t do it “well.”
And importantly: self‑care is not a cure‑all. It won’t eliminate hard days, intrusive thoughts, or postpartum mood disorders. If you’re feeling persistently overwhelmed, anxious, disconnected, or hopeless, seeking professional support is a powerful form of care.
Making Self‑Care More Realistic
If self‑care feels like one more expectation, try scaling it down until it fits your life.
Ask yourself:
- What would make today feel 5% easier?
- What need keeps showing up for me?
- What can I stop pushing through?
Sometimes self‑care is brushing your teeth at 2PM. Sometimes it’s stepping outside for fresh air while the baby cries safely inside. Sometimes it’s choosing rest over productivity.
All of it counts.
A Simple Personal Practice
One gentle way to personalize self‑care in the postpartum season is to reconnect with the parts of you that existed before, and alongside, motherhood.
Make a list of three self‑care tasks that make you feel like you. Not the version of you who has it all together, but the real one.
My postpartum self‑care activities included:
- Washing my face every morning
- Getting outside as much as possible
- Taking trips to our local coffee shop
- Eating Chick‑fil‑A
- Visiting my favorite winery
- Taking the girls to the zoo
None of these were about wellness trends or perfectly curated routines. They were about normalcy, fresh air, small comforts, and moments that reminded me I was still me.
It’s also important to recognize that your postpartum self‑care will look different with each baby. My second time around, we did so much more. I felt more confident in myself and more grounded in what I could handle.
My younger daughter, Abby, celebrated being one month old at a college football tailgate (LOL). And while that version of postpartum might not look like rest to everyone, for me it was joy, confidence, and proof that growth can coexist with recovery.
The goal isn’t consistency, it’s remembrance.
If you don’t feel comfortable getting out of the house with the baby by yourself, recruit a trusted friend or family member. Sometimes, knowing you’re not completely alone is half the battle.
Lastly (and this may be a hot take), I committed to chopping my hair off and scheduling quarterly hair appointments to feel more “me.” It was the best decision I made in the postpartum season. I left each appointment feeling mentally and physically lighter.
What are a few small things—simple, imperfect, or unexpected—that help you feel like you in this season?
A Gentle Reminder
You are not meant to disappear in this season. Your needs did not end when your baby arrived. Caring for yourself postpartum isn’t about doing more—it’s about being held, supported, and allowed to heal.
These New Mom Notes are here to remind you of that.
If today all you did was keep yourself and your baby safe, that is enough. And if you can, drink some water.
Postpartum Pulse Check 
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